Crossroads to self-reflection
The people who come to us for coaching are often at a crossroads in their lives. A point in life where you pause, reflect and think carefully about where you want to go and also what and who you want to take with you.
But the most important question is: What do I want to take with me? Who do I want to be in the next stage of my life and who do I not want to be?
It is these points in life that invite us to take a close look at what has carried us to this point. We can ask ourselves:
- What patterns of behaviour have we used again and again?
- Where do these patterns come from? Are there moments or circumstances that trigger these patterns?
- Were there moments when we reacted automatically and asked ourselves in hindsight why we reacted that way?
- Were there moments when strong memories of our childhood or people from back then came to mind?
A crossroads is a place and a moment that doesn’t prompt you to immediately decide which direction to take and simply continue walking, but instead invites you to pause for a moment and let the options take effect.
Crossroads – which path seems the most inviting?
The one that is most similar to the previous one? Or the one that promises to be particularly easy? Or the one that promises the greatest recognition? The most beautiful views?
Taking the time to look closely at what drives us not only directly, but above all what drives us indirectly, what world views, life plans, assumptions about the world.
Not everything that has given us stability is still really relevant today, much has simply become habit, patterns that we follow without really thinking about them – something that there hardly seems to be time for in normal life anyway.
And yet we have reached this crossroads. It is not so important whether we got there consciously or through seemingly external events. The important thing is to accept it and embrace it.
Sometimes our clients find this self-reflection easy, they have already prepared themselves for it, so to speak.
Others find it difficult. Reflecting on themselves, even in depth, confronts them with fears and insecurities and sometimes also with a frightening feeling of emptiness. An emptiness that often arises when, in retrospect, you have the feeling that you have actually just done everything, that you have just lived life as a reaction to circumstances, expectations and pressure. Emptiness that is linked to the uncertainty of one’s own existence, in which one feels like a puppet who for the first time realises the strings on which it is hanging.
It often helps to put yourself in a state of absolute freedom. This state is open to everyone, everyone has access to it.
This state of absolute freedom resides in every self. With what we can imagine, anything is possible.
You can imagine the world the way you want it to be.
You can create a visionary picture that you can visualise down to the smallest detail. An image that you can approach from the wayside, consciously, but also deeply anchored in your subconscious.
Why not sit down at the crossroads and start dreaming?
How do I imagine my relationships from now on? With my partner? With my children and parents? With my friends, work colleagues and customers? How exactly will I feel when I spend time with people, how will I come across in interactions? How genuine and authentic will I be? What will my charisma be like?
How will I look and feel? What will my health be like? How fit, athletic, agile and persistent will I be?
How and where will I live? In a house, a caravan, a tent, a flat and what will it look like there?
The more precisely you visualise these things, the stronger their effect on your subconscious, the more they become part of a future that has not yet been lived but is possible.
Will I still be working and if so, where, on what and with whom? Do I want to make a difference, leave something behind, bring about change and improvement? Or can I imagine living a completely different life, without work, and if so, what would the content of my day look like? What would I do and how would it make me feel? What brings me fulfilment, appreciation and what else is important to me?
How will I live my spirituality? Will I pray, meditate, consciously engage with nature? Where will I find inspiration? Will I go to museums, galleries, music events, concerts, churches, mosques, temples or synagogues, read or go to readings, lectures or educational trips?
The path ahead of us is just as varied as the path behind us.
Visualising the possibilities also means opening up the possibilities.
Conscious vision work makes it easier to engage with what you are striving for, the possibilities and the right companions.
This vision can and will always resonate in later decisions, both large and small, and you can consciously and unconsciously categorise yourself again and again.
The crossroads still lie ahead of you, but you can now decide much more consciously which path you want to take and also consciously decide against a certain path.
And then every single step counts again, every conscious yes to what you really want.