While many parents have been surprised by how well their children are coping during the current school closures, many others report that they feel overwhelmed by the tasks they have to do. As teachers and schools send worksheets and assignments home, parents struggle to oversee the work that has to be done by their children in different subjects and different grade levels. At the same time, many parents are also committed to their own work from their home office.

Here we would like to share some strategies and basic understandings of how to deal with this load without compromising the intimate close relationship you have with your child as their parent. 

Roles of parents and teachers

The role of a teacher can be very different and is less emotionally-loaded. Teaching your own children in this sudden way is also not comparable to the work of home schoolers. They have chosen this way and planned for it in their approach, materials and set-up. You have just been thrown into this and must use whatever you can find. That is very different.

Your role as a parent is quite different. Sure enough, you are always educating your child but unlike that of a teacher in a formal school setting. You decide yourself which material or activity is right for your child, and your family as a whole. 

Just make a mental note that even your children’s teachers are new to this situation. They are adapting and all of it is a strange experience, as much for you as it is for them. Many are also parents themselves or worrying about relatives. As much as you need time, they probably will as well.

As you are together in this, just seek contact with the teachers about whatever you feel is going well or not so well. Give feedback in form of observations (“my child yesterday needed 2h to finish the task” or “X found this really difficult and for me it is hard to support as I have also Y and Z”) rather than assumptions or judgements (“You have sent way too much”). Good communication and feedback to the teacher in a positive tone will also help everyone to adapt, including your children.

Parents’ and children’s needs

Keep in mind that this experience one day might become a very vivid memory of childhood for your children due to all the emotions they experience around them. Try as much as possible to create memories of a homely, cosy, snuggly supportive experience rather than a tense and stressed one. If you feel that the schoolwork starts to get in the way of you being a loving, compassionate parent, dial down on the schoolwork. Your relationship with your children is so much more important and it is what the kids need most right now. A bit less school work and a bit more love will help rather than hinder your child’s learning!

The situation becomes even more difficult when you are also working from home as a mandatory home office. In this case, you have to balance things even more. Sure, you can oversee certain activities of your children while working at your computer but maybe not that “build a volcano” assignment of the well-meaning geography teacher! Try to fit in what works and skip the rest. Just communicate to the teacher and let them know what the kids can do and what they can’t. Ask for guidance in the assignments so you are clear about which ones to prioritize.

Give yourself and your children a break

Try not to compare yourself with other parents. They are in different circumstances, living a different life. You know what suits your children and your situation. This is not a race.

If your children find it hard to sit and concentrate on the given tasks and you see that they could do much better by playing Lego or running in the garden or connecting with their friends… well, just let them do this. Give them and yourself a break. After a break, some of the tasks may feel differently already, so take it easy.

And there are the household chores as well. Do not try to do them along with everything else. Make it a part of the curriculum you ‘teach’. These are life skills. Clean, cook and wash together. Make it fun. There is no need now for perfectionism or five-star cooking. Keep it simple and efficient. For younger children you can combine these activities easily with some math or language tasks.

Whether you are a parent or not, please share your perspective with us

As you are reading this, you probably have your own thoughts about the matter. We would love to hear from you, please comment below.